Chance Encounters

I tend to be the therapist in my group of friends. So I have many patients :)

Unfortunately, it does take a little toll on my emotions. I thought about blocking some of what I pick up but at the same time, it works like an alarm system; letting me know who's in trouble. My own personal bat radar LOL.

In a therapy session online, I came across this poem. It made one of my patients feel better. I can't copy and paste so here's the link. Enjoy!

http://deespoems.com/netbg/encounter/chance_encounters.html

My Multiple Posts

Yeah, I'm a bit on the melancholy side and making up for lost time. I've blogged on my ever unused Myspace Blog and on Facebook notes so I decided to post these here.

I'm in the process of removing some obstacles from my life. All for the better, however, I'm encountering a bit of rough patches along the way.

Soon I hope to find peace with all this and hopefully all makes some sense to me...

I think I know what I'm doing.

Le sigh...

Lyrics to Nine Inch Nails' song Something I Can Never Have

I still recall the taste of your tears.
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore.

[Chorus:]
You make this all go away.
You make this all go away.
I'm down to just one thing.
And I'm starting to scare myself.
You make this all go away.
You make this all go away.
I just want something.
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now.
This thing is slowly taking me apart.
Grey would be the color if I had a heart.

Come on tell me

[Chorus]

In this place it seems like such a shame.
Though it all looks different now,
I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see.
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be.

Come on tell me

[Chorus]

I just want something I can never have

What would you do?

If we had a chance,
To start over again,
Break down the walls
Would you help me?

Erase the past,
Clear the slate,
To make things anew
Can we find a way?

Just hold my hand
I’ll guide the way
Come out of the shadows
Are you still afraid?

Time is running out,
For us to start again,
Let’s forget the past
Or is it too late to begin?

Quote taken from Neil Gaiman's Sandman...

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love.


As the Queen would say..."OFF WITH THEIR HEADS"....

Ode on Melancholy

No, no! Go not to Lethe, neither twist
Wolf's-bane, tight-rooted, for its poisonous wine;
Nor suffer thy pale forehead to be kissed
By nightshade, ruby grape of Proserpine;
Make not your rosary of yew-berries,
Nor let the beetle nor the death-moth be
Your mournful Psyche, nor the downy owl
A partner in your sorrow's mysteries;
For shade to shade will come too drowsily,
And drown the wakeful anguish of the soul.

But when the melancholy fit shall fall
Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud,
That fosters the droop-headed flowers all,
And hides the green hill in an April shroud;
Then glut thy sorrow on a morning rose,
Or on the rainbow of the salt sand-wave,
Or on the wealth of globed peonies;
Or if thy mistress some rich anger shows,
Emprison her soft hand, and let her rave,
And feed deep, deep upon her peerless eyes.

She dwells with Beauty -- Beauty that must die;
And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips
Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,
Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips;
Ay, in the very temple of delight
Veiled Melancholy has her sovran shrine,
Though seen of none save him whose strenuous tongue
Can burst Joy's grape against his palate fine;
His soul shall taste the sadness of her might,
And be among her cloudy trophies hung.

So I'm back...

I have returned! Thank goodness!

Not that I don't like going on vacation. I got sick on vacation. I dont know about y'all but if I'm going to be ill, I prefer to stay home. Between sea sickness, stomach problems, women's problems and allergies, I looked like I was falling apart. For the most part, I tried to make it the best I could. My so-called other half wasnt too thrilled. He was upset. 'Cause I wanted to get sick on my vacation. I deliberately planned this to the tee. Pffft. ::rolls eyes:::

This trip didn't help out at all either. So who know where that relationship is headed to. But most who know me and what our predicament was, knows it was bound to dissolve. We're not the same people who came together. It was bound to happen. :/

I don't know what I want...but that's another story.